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Pastor Korede Komaiya

Relationships, especially marriage does not just fail, they are made to fail. Marriages don’t die, they are murdered; every dead marriage was murdered by the partners involved! One great undoing of a relationship is when parties involved work to cure rather than manage. Every great relationship is managed. You cannot cure your wife from being a woman, neither can you cure your husband from being a man, it won’t work; it will be an effort in futility. Developing capacity to manage relationships, including marriage is key.

No marriage is too good that it cannot be improved, and no marriage is too bad that it cannot be restored; it only cost a change of approach as the popular saying goes, “If you want different, you have to do different”; instead of focusing on curing, you focus on managing, managing priorities (because your priorities will never be the same all the time); managing behaviours, managing differences; from yesterday, today till tomorrow, a man is totally different from a woman, likewise a woman from a man.

A man can never think like a woman neither can a woman think like a man; the differences are so much that no amount of work can bridge it; it is on this ground most relationship collapse (inability to manage differences). You can have the best relational experiences when you develop capacity to manage rather than cure. Learn to manage priorities, behaviours, perceptions, difference, etc. Never attack difference, manage it. If you attack difference by being judgmental about them, pain is the resultant effect.

Most marriages failed because differences were consistently attacked. Embrace your differences, find value in them and admire them. Always remember, relationships are never cured, they are managed.



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